I saw you had a post, knew I was too fried to read at the moment, then delighted to have the chance to *listen.* I feel like I know you so much better now. Thanks you for the way you connected these threads into a piece that is bright and beautifully red.
I enjoy your storytelling so much. This line in particular resonated with me: “I wanted a chance to be the little one.” I also loved the NC connection... I grew up in Charlotte and went to school at UNC!
My goodness you explain something that took me becoming an actual therapist to understand that I do 😫 I came here with a quote and saw that Annelise had already quoted it! But I resonated so strongly with the image of going away to work out what you thought by journaling and then presenting it to your people. I too have been learning that I have needs and I can ask. Thank you for this exquisitely written piece.
"I entered most relationships as Big Sister. I created space for people to bring me their feelings. I sat and listened and vibrated in the intimacy, all while keeping myself boxed up. I sometimes informed someone that I was going through something, but I didn’t often invite them into that something with me" - thank you for naming this. I can so relate to this positioning to get needs met while also meeting needs, and it is exhausting. And it's also totally paralyzing to learn a new way of *gasp* asking for what you need (always think of the Katherine Heigl line from "27 Dresses" - "I don't have needs. I'm Jesus" because it hits a little too close to home... it's also theologically incorrect but that's beside the point haha!)
I just adore your storytelling. The generosity in your writing is everything online connection is generally not, and I am so crazy grateful to write and grow alongside you!!
“Even though I wanted a big sister, I didn’t know how to be a little sister.” Isn’t that how it goes? Caught myself “YEP”-ing through this whole piece, really resonate with not knowing how to make space for what we desire sometimes. Truly so beautifully put.
I read this from the passenger seat of my daughter’s car today. We are headed up to see my other daughter and I normally drive, but she offered and I accepted. “I’ll buy gas and coffee,” I told her.
I absolutely loved getting to know you better in this story, and I love how your whole body is exuberant--arms wide open, clutching your heart, bending at the knees. You are such a gift of energy and kindness, and there is so much for me to learn and appreciate in your rich experiences! So thank you ☺️
I saw you had a post, knew I was too fried to read at the moment, then delighted to have the chance to *listen.* I feel like I know you so much better now. Thanks you for the way you connected these threads into a piece that is bright and beautifully red.
I enjoy your storytelling so much. This line in particular resonated with me: “I wanted a chance to be the little one.” I also loved the NC connection... I grew up in Charlotte and went to school at UNC!
My goodness you explain something that took me becoming an actual therapist to understand that I do 😫 I came here with a quote and saw that Annelise had already quoted it! But I resonated so strongly with the image of going away to work out what you thought by journaling and then presenting it to your people. I too have been learning that I have needs and I can ask. Thank you for this exquisitely written piece.
"I entered most relationships as Big Sister. I created space for people to bring me their feelings. I sat and listened and vibrated in the intimacy, all while keeping myself boxed up. I sometimes informed someone that I was going through something, but I didn’t often invite them into that something with me" - thank you for naming this. I can so relate to this positioning to get needs met while also meeting needs, and it is exhausting. And it's also totally paralyzing to learn a new way of *gasp* asking for what you need (always think of the Katherine Heigl line from "27 Dresses" - "I don't have needs. I'm Jesus" because it hits a little too close to home... it's also theologically incorrect but that's beside the point haha!)
I just adore your storytelling. The generosity in your writing is everything online connection is generally not, and I am so crazy grateful to write and grow alongside you!!
Wow, wow, wow.
Oof so much of this feels like a description of how I feel. I'm an oldest too and a people pleaser. Wowzers, thank you for your words.
man does this resonate. What a beautiful piece of writing.
Keep it moving dear💯💯
“Even though I wanted a big sister, I didn’t know how to be a little sister.” Isn’t that how it goes? Caught myself “YEP”-ing through this whole piece, really resonate with not knowing how to make space for what we desire sometimes. Truly so beautifully put.
I read this from the passenger seat of my daughter’s car today. We are headed up to see my other daughter and I normally drive, but she offered and I accepted. “I’ll buy gas and coffee,” I told her.
I absolutely loved getting to know you better in this story, and I love how your whole body is exuberant--arms wide open, clutching your heart, bending at the knees. You are such a gift of energy and kindness, and there is so much for me to learn and appreciate in your rich experiences! So thank you ☺️